16 days to go

The end of my H4H2 challenge is just two weeks away. I'm excited but also nervous. I didn't do as well as I had hoped I'd do. But that just means that I cant give up these last 16 days.

As it stands now my weight is 182, so i am down about 4lbs since last entry. Which is great, but i must push fourth and reach my next goal. I would like to get down to at least 178 by Halloween. So that is my new goal. 4 pounds by Halloween should not be hard at all. Hell as long as I lose something I will be happy.

The plan I have forged for myself is pretty simple and basic. I have created a chart for myself as well as a diet plan. Here is what I plan to eat for the next 16 days.

Breakfast:

• 1 cup Greek yogurt, 3/4 cup Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal w/ almonds, honey, dried cranberries. One slice of toast.
  
• Meal replacement bar
• 1 cup of high fiber cereal w/ reduced fat milk. (almond, soy, rice)
• 1 slice of whole wheat toast w/ peanut butter, 1 cup of fruit yogurt
• 2 slices of veggie bacon or sausage, apple and celery with peanut butter
• 2 slices of veggie bacon or sausage, 1 cup of oatmeal
• 1/2 grapefruit, 2 slices of veggie bacon or sausage

Lunch:

• 1 cup of low-sodium soup or low-fat veggie chili, 6 reduced fat crackers, unlimited raw veggies.
• 1 frozen entree (up to 250 cals) 1 small salad, w/ lite dressing
• open-face tuna salad sandwich or with crackers, unlimited raw veggies, and raw almonds.
• turkey sandwich (lettuce, tomato, mustard, lite mayo, swiss cheese, whole wheat sandwich thins) 12 baked tortilla chips w/ salsa or guacamole, 1 piece of fruit
• chicken salad (baked or grilled chicken, luttuce, tomato, avacado, cucumber, lite dressing) 12 baked tortilla chips w/ salsa or guacamole
• Grilled cheese w/tomato on whole wheat sandwich thins, 1 cup low-sodium soup, fruit
  
• veggie burger (Boca grillers, lettuce, tomato, cheese, mustard, ketchup, whole wheat sandwich thins), small salad w/ lite dressing.

Dinner:

• Frozen dinner entree (300 cals), unlimited veggies
• Small baked potato w/ low fat cheese & broccoli, small salad w/lite dressing
• baked or grilled chicken or fish, sauteed veggies, brown rice
• Sushi 10 pieces
• re-fried black beans on baked wheat tortilla w/ lettuce, tomato, cheese, avacado, salsa, taco seasonings, and unlimited veggies.
• 1/2 cup whole grain pasta w/ veggie sauce, salad w/ garbanzo beans, avacado, lite dressing
• Veggie faux meat, brown rice, steamed veggies

Snacks:

• Nutrution bar
• air popped popcorn
• light yogurt
• fresh fruit
• tall starbucks chai tea, or green tea
• apple w/peanut butter
• 12 baked tortilla chips w/salsa or guacamole
• raw veggies w/ lite dip
• beef, turkey, or salmon jerky
• tuna salad w/ crackers
• fruit w/ cheese cubes
• granola bar w/ yogurt
• turkey wrap (lettuce, wheat tortilla, dried cranberries, turkey, cream cheese)

Drinks:

• 91oz. water a day
• lemonade
• tea hot or cold
• limited fruit juice
• mineral and sparkling waters

I am trying to include carbs, fat, and protein to every meal and snack.

So far I have had my breakfast at 7am this morning. I will be eating my first snack around 10am, my lunch at 1pm, my second snack at 4pm, and my dinner will be at 7pm. As I mentioned earlier in this entry I created a daily chart. This is what my chart consists of.

Ate on schedule
Ate 3 meals
Ate 3 snacks
Included protein, fat, and carbs to each meal and snack
drank 91 oz of water
physical activity for at least 20 minutes
multi-vitamin and Omega 3 supplements

Im not perfect, so I dont expect to follow this to a T. But, it will show me what I need to improve on, and what I am doing right. I will add more to this entry about the other meals and snacks. And I WILL keep track of this every single day until Halloween.

My chart for today:
Ate on schedule
Ate 3 meals
Ate 3 snacks
Included protein, fat, and carbs to each meal and snack
drank 91 oz of water
physical activity for at least 20 minutes
multi-vitamin and Omega 3 supplements X

My Diet for today:

Breakfast- Greek yogurt w/ kashi and cranberries. Tea


Water:
16 oz

Are you kidding me? Week # 3

Ok, i have officially fucked up.

I havent done very well at all the past week or two. I weighed in at 186 this morning and i almost shit myself. I cant believe after all i have been through im putting the weight back on. I am so angry. So disappointed in myself. But the gain is within reason, i really havent been taking care of myself. For one thing my boyfriend and i have been going out to eat quite a bit. It sucks, but thats how its been. I enjoy my time with him so i dont really care where we eat or anything like that, but i could at least make better decisions about what i eat. I have been paying attention to my digestive pattern over the last two weeks and its bad... (WARNING: i will be getting a tad bit graphic here...) My bowel movements mirror my eating habits over the last two weeks. Some days are ok and i eat well so i have a normal movement, other days i eat like shit and then either i dont have a BM or i have the opposite....i digress... see i warned ya. But yeah, its not normal. And it is not healthy. Also when i am not on any real type of eating schedule. I should eat at least every 2-3 hours.. but i keep eating big meals like every 8 hours instead of 4 or 5 small meals through out the day.

Currently i have like no appetite, and my body just really feels weighted down with all this crap (no pun intended) in my system. I know deep down that i want to lose weight and that i want to improve my life, but my actions are not showing that. I havent really been as thorough with my H4H2 challenge. And that is something i have been wanting to do and stick to. Im driving myself nuts and i hate this.

I am not going to give up... no more damned excuses i have come way too fucking far to give up now. I want to be back at the weight i had been at when i started the H4H2 challenge by next Thursday's weigh in. Thankfully my team leader Jordan has given us a break this week, which i will be using as a 'get out of jail free card.' Its time i owned up to my responsibilites and actually took accountability for all of my actions.

Now in the past on my Vlogs i have said that i wont be counting calories, and no i wont be doing that PERIOD! i get it, it makes sense... but ultimately i want to be able to eat a decent meal one day and not have to worry about how many calories i am eating... that isnt normal... that isnt something i want in my everyday life. so it wont happen. However, i will be keeping a food journal over the next week starting today. I will write down what i eat and when i eat, also how i felt after i ate it... whether i was upset because i binged, or whether i was satisfied and felt that what i was eating was healthy. I wont bore you with much more of this health jargen... i need to make my new vlog and get off of this pity train and do something conductive. Thank you for reading.

Off to a rocky start: Week # 2

Today is the last official day of my summer vacation, I am sad to see it go but also glad. I really miss school, and I miss being productive during the day. I am also glad to see the semester on its way because this means that the chances of me over eating or eating out of boredom will start to decrease. My school day usually starts about 9am and goes on until 8pm so that leaves very little time to mess up my diet. I have decided that once this week has begun i will write out a very thorough plan of how I am going to burn off the last 50-60 lbs. Speaking of which i have yet to weigh myself this week....

Ugh... unfortunately there has been a gain this week. 4lbs... i am now at 185. Its disappointing but also expected as i was sick the last week and a half, as well as the fact that my boyfriend and i spent the last two weekends together not really eating the best foods. However i will say this i did do a lot of exercise this week. I gave the dog a bath, cleaned my car inside-out, fixed my bike (cleaned, oiled chain and gears, pumped and patched tires), rode my bike a little bit, and walked all over Ventura, Oxnard, Santa Monica, and Venice with the boyfriend. So all in all yes i had a gain, but i feel very good, and i feel like this is the most active i have been in a while. A lapse in diet is nothing to fuss over, just something that needs to be reeled back and altered to accommodate A. my gain, and B. what my body actually needs for muscle gain and weight loss.

I have decided to start slow with the bike and build myself up.... god, its been years since i've ridden it.

I do have some interesting news, apparently i have gotten noticed by a girl who is also on a quest to lose weight. She asked me for some tips and pointers on how to lose weight. It sort of caught me off guard lol. I am not an expert by any means... However it did flatter me a lot! and it made me realize that i am more than equipped to beat this weight thing... especially the minor gain this week. just for an example here is what i told her in some of our correspondence.


I dont exercise nearly as much as i should, and i tend to indulge a little bit too much in sodas, fatty foods, and salt. But over all i try not to think of it in a matter of numbers or deadlines, because that will just set you up for a lot of disappointment.

What i have done so far is cutting out most of my fat and salt intake, limiting myself to one soda per day, and drinking as much water and tea as possible. there are a lot of foods out there that can help when fighting weight. One of my biggest vices is carbs, I LOVE BREADS! So to help fix that and curb my cravings i have opted for eating mainly Whole Grains or breads with high fiber. Sourdough is by far my favorite bread, it is low in calories and fat. BUT! it has very little nutritional value. I have some minor issues with eating fast foods and things of that nature. The way i have gotten around that is by allowing myself one fast food meal per week. My fave is taco bell.. usually what i do is i order one or two items from the menu (usually a burrito and a taco, or a crunchwrap) then when i come home i make myself a garden salad (lettus, tomatoes, olives, cucumbers, avacado, light dressing) i eat the salad and my taco bell. I have a mostly Vegetarian diet which could be helping me or hurting me... im not sure. But i try to stay away from red meats except for special occasions like going out to a steakhouse or whatever. One great food to eat is grapefruit, it curbs sugar cravings and it tastes really good with a little bit of splenda. I usually eat half a grapefruit in the morning with a small bowl of high fiber cereal. When it comes to fat loss what you really should focus on is
-Portion control (will explain)
-High Fiber
-Whole Grains
-Citrus Fruit
-Protein (eggs, lean meats, nuts, beans, fish)
-low fat
-lots of greens
-Low fat dairy (yogurt is the best!)
-and as much water as possible

Portion control.. i do this thing called small plate... basically you take a small plate and fill it up accordingly
-Grains/starches: About the size of your closed fist
-Vegetables/fruits: The size of your hand with fingers fanned out
-Protien/meat: The size of the palm of your hand (minus fingers)
-fats/cheese: a piece no bigger than the size of your index finger

Exercise:
I actually dont exercise as much as i should. I just fixed my bicycle today and i am going to try to use it 3 days a week. Fitness experts say that if you do an exercise session you should exercise every other day so your muscles have time to relax and recoup. You'll notice once you start exercising your body will be really really sore at first. but it goes away after a while. What i do is i use work out dvd's i have a few Belly Dance and Pilates. I also have a balance ball and some free weights. if you are serious about losing weight think of it like this "slow and steady wins the race" You cant push yourself and you cant expect results the next day. Think of it as a large rock chip a little piece off every day.

Even though she sought me out for help, she really inspired me and has made me want to get back on the bandwagon. After the splendid and exciting weekend with my beau i decided its time to get my butt in gear and be serious about this. To be honest the last 2 months have been just a silent trudge till the 31st. Its one thing to be lazy and relaxed after having a productive day... it is QUITE!!! quite another to be lazy for no good reason. So i am going to do this, not just to feel good about myself, both body and soul, but to enjoy my life more. There is no more waiting... there is no reason to wait. Life is happening now, i cant live my life by excuses i have to surrender to my obligations and bite the proverbial bullet.

There is this challenge taking place right now within the weight loss community on YouTube called Hot 4 Halloween 2. This challenge started about 3-4 weeks ago and i have actually gained instead of losing. I started at 180 and now i am at 185...... I guess it could be worse, but I initially went into this with the mentality of "Fuck yeah! let's go out with guns blazing!" and now I'm in the mind set that I have backed myself in a corner and that not only is my weight looming over me but now there is the possibility of letting my teammates down. A very weak part of my Psyche wants to give up and say "fuck it, too much pressure." and the other part of me still has my hand on the holster ready to go out in my blazing glory come oct 31st. I know I am way to hard on myself... I guess its the typical "I am my own worst enemy" type of thing. But I know and i realize that i have committed myself and i need to stay consistent... and so on that note, i believe it is time for me to do something about my life and be productive instead of crawling into my corner to hide... I wanna shoot those guns at the end of all this ^_^.

"I have not yet begun to fight." John Paul Jones.
<3 Christa

The Beginning: Week #1

I must stay on track with this...

It seems that every time I come to this journal I must start over from the beginning. Well that ends today. I must stay consistent!!!

Since 2008 i have been on a journey to lose weight and change my lifestyle. Ultimately bad eating habits and a lack of exercise has put me in this spot where i feel that i am not only unhealthy, but uncomfortable in my skin. When I started this whole sha-bang I was at a staggering 210lbs on my 5'4 frame. I was pretty much devastated. I decided that it was time to lose when I realized that not only was i shortening my life, but i really wasn't doing a whole lot with it. Sure I have been going to school, but my days are filled with over eating, terrible food choices, and not a whole lot of physical activity. As a sort of plea to get off of my ass and actually do something with my life i decided to begin documenting my weight loss on YouTube. This July marked the one year anniversary to my video diaries. And as we come full circle to the close of another year i am at 181 pounds. I could not be happier. This is indeed the most weight i have lost and kept off for this long.

But now I am plateauing... which frightens me. I am teetering on the edge of gaining back what i have worked so hard to get rid of. However, i have a plan. What with the aid of the wonderful weight loss community, my friends, family, and the readers of this journal (hopefully) i plan to become more active, and more diligent with breaking my bad habits. I want to lose about 50-60 more pounds. My BMI is at an all time high of 31.9% for my height that is borderline obese... which scares the living daylights out of me. But, although my BMI is high, i know that i am fixing my problems and i am taking order with my life. So lets begin this the right way... I must focus on losing the final pounds. Today will mark week one of my re-vamped diet and exercise regime. here is what i will be doing to start this week.

Food:
I already eat pretty decently, so i wont have to change much. But possibly just tweak it a bit.

-More veggies and less starches
-More Water
-Less sodium
-More fiber
-More protien

Exercise:
I will fix my bike today (8/24) so i can start riding it again.

-Bike at least twice this week
-Run a mile to gauge my time and work towards beating that time.
-Begin using workout DVDs

Activities:
I need to be more proactive and stop wasting my time online/watching tv/movies/and talking on the phone. I should do more of the things i love doing and stop waiting for things... what the hell am i waiting for? life? get a clue Christa life is in progress!

-draw/write at least 3 times this week
-Start reading Dune
-Finish reading Order of the Phoenix
-mend/take in/alter articles of clothing you have been meaning to fix and re-vamp
-finish redecorating your room

I know this is a huge work load to take in for this week, but i need to start doing things that make me happy. I am to quick to bypass the things i enjoy for frivolous activities like sitting here watching tv and eating ice cream. I am laying all this out, i need to be better i need to dig myself out of this rut i have created.

Vital stats as of August 25th 2010:
Blood Pressure/Pulse: 111/67 and 65
Weight:181
BMI: 31.9
Measurements:
-Neck: 14 inches
-Bicep: 11.5 inches
-Forearm: 10 inches
-Bust: 42 inches
-Waist: 36 inches
-Hips: 44 inches
-Thigh: 24.5 inches
-Calf: 15 inches.

My new goal is to be somewhere near 130 by next August. So I am giving myself one year to lose 50 pounds. That is more than reasonable. And if i don't quite make it, that is ok too because it is still progress. I will be checking and updating my vital stats (ie. blood pressure, measurements, BMI) on a quarterly basis (every 3 months). So the next update for those things will be in November. I will be updating this journal hopefully once a week if not more than that. That is all for now. Wish me luck! Thank you all for reading.

<3 Christa